Cologne smiled at the Saotome Matriarch, sipping her tea while the woman continued to prattle on about baby names, clothing, and pictures. With centuries of practice to draw upon, she let not one trace of worry touch her features even as the sounds of the vigorous, almost violent, carnal acts happening in one of the rooms above them came to its FOURTH finale that evening.

Soul of Ice.

Which did nothing to alleviate the uncomfortable feeling she now got in the presence of... such an... intelligent, and... understanding, mother.

Stud Services

  • All characters mentioned from Ranma ½ are owned by Rumiko Takahashi. This story was written for entertainment purposes only.
  • This is the FINAL short in the "Speaking of Horses" thread of stories that I started so long ago, and I completely blame Getzeye for dragging the idea out of the back of my mind enough that it took on a life of its own. As always, I thank CyMage and D.F.R. for their proofing (after great amounts of snickering, I'm sure).
  • WARNING! This story is a 'lemon' and suggests adult content in some detail.

- - - 9 Days Ago - - -

Carefully schooling her features Cologne asked, "So what you are offering is a... temporary measure, until he finally accepts the inevitable?"

"No, I am sorry. With the current situation as it stands, my son would have difficulties in fulfilling all the obligations that he, and others, have placed upon him. When he petitioned for my assistance in these affairs a few weeks ago, I decided that it would be best to see if there were any alternative solutions that would meet the exact letter, or at least the spirit, of these engagements."

Leaning back on her stool the Chinese Amazon Elder stated, "I see." Personally, she thought it rather unlikely that Ranma had actually asked his mother for such aid, especially given the rather unexpected turn the conversation had taken, but she also wasn't going to dismiss the idea out of hand either. Should Shampoo come to carry Ranma's child, she knew that his honor would definitely push him towards more involvement with the Amazons, and that ANY child born of such parentage would have every possible physical advantage towards become a warrior of exceptional skill.

It put the tribe in a very favorable position indeed, but Cologne still hesitated. For Saotome Nodoka, a woman most definitely with her own unique viewpoints of the world, to come here and actually suggest it herself... made her wonder.

Pushing it aside the tiny old woman finally nodded while saying, "I shall speak with my great-granddaughter about her role. She should be at her most fertile stage in six days time." Her brow then arched in concern. "And will Ranma do his part?"

Lazily smiling the woman replied with, "I shall take care of that."

- - - The Present - - -

They had arrived almost two hours ago, mother and furiously blushing son, after which Shampoo had taken him upstairs to do the deed. Three days, it had been agreed upon, to give the attempted conception its every possible chance.

And if Shampoo did her part, even more.

When Cologne had first told her of the arrangement, she had expected something else, anything else, than the sudden apprehension she'd seen in her great-granddaughter's eyes. After all, the girl had to have seen the boy's naked body on at least a dozen occasions given how diligently she'd pursued him in the past, so there shouldn't be any surprises there. So not giving it much thought at the time she had pushed forward, beginning the girl's instruction on how to best lay claim to the boy's hormones, if not his heart.

Hearing a fifth round of events starting above her, once again featuring Shampoo's surprisingly loud voice instead of Ranma's, Cologne began to wonder if she'd been played the fool, even as Nodoka continued to get quite gushy while envisioning her future grandchildren.

It eventually came to an end though, and several minutes afterward a rather tired looking Ranma was seen coming down the stairs.

"Well it was quite enjoyable talking with you, Cologne, but I think we have imposed upon your hospitality enough this evening. With your leave, I shall take my son and retire to our home where I'm quite certain he will put a rather large dent in my larder." Not even waiting for a reply, but still flashing that sunny smile, the woman then collected her son and quietly left.

Cologne blinked, then turned as she heard a second set of steps make a slow journey down from the room above her.

Shampoo entered the kitchen wearing an old Chinese long shirt, her hair in direct competition with a rat's nest for the category of 'Disaster.' Without saying a word she very carefully sat herself on one of the stools. The fact that her legs continued to noticeably shake even AFTER sitting did not bode well...

"Now remember everything I have said, Great-granddaughter. While a powerful martial artist, Ranma is also a male and ultimately a slave to a male's base desires. You need to take control, lead it in the manner best suited to you, like any other form of combat."

"Yes, Great-grandmother."

They both sat, sipping an herbal tea that Cologne had made earlier herself, until the Saotome's finally appeared. Upon entering the once again hastily closed ramen cafe, Cologne found herself amazed that Ranma was managing to blush even more then he had the day before.

"-and please remember, Son, this is not a competition. We are here to try and fulfill your supposed obligation to these people."

"Mother, could we PLEASE stop talking about this?"

"Very well then." Turning towards Shampoo the woman then asked, "And how are you feeling this afternoon, dear?"

"Shampoo feel well, Mother-in-Law."

"That is good to hear." Then taking a step back she added, "Now then, don't let us busybodies keep you two. Off you go."

Digging into her purse as the two left, the woman brought out a small box from her bag, which was promptly presented to the Amazon Elder. With that same, now almost eerie smile on her face she said, "Since we'll be spending a little bit of time here, I thought I would try and interest you in my own family's tea blend. It's quite good."

Smiling in return Cologne then moved them both into the kitchen and put on a kettle, already striking up another round of idle banter as they both settled in. But even as she did so, she also stretched her senses in an effort to learn what was happening upstairs. Having decided that a change in tactics was necessary she had instructed Shampoo to engage in alternative methods of copulation. Methods that, while not very progressive towards pregnancy, should be much more in line with what might keep Ranma's future attention.

So she listened as the two above them began, mentally nodding in approval at her great-granddaughter's plan of letting the boy think he had the initiative before springing the trap.

When they started a second time, however, she became annoyed.

As soon as noises of their third round initiated, her annoyance turned to concern. What WAS that girl doing?

After that, however, it became very quiet, and Cologne had to fight to keep the wide grin off her face. The girl had finally started, and was by now showing the boy a few tricks that he'd likely never even HEARD of--before now that is...

...which is why, maybe twenty minutes later, she almost fell out of her chair when the agonizingly long screaming roar began. Both she and Nodoka looked upward, a frown plainly written on the other woman's face, as it was eventually replaced by a rhythm of yips, howls, yells, and unrecognizable Chinese pleas.

Watching the other woman glance at her suspiciously, Cologne innocently offered, "Hit a tender spot?"

Seeing the woman's thoughts turn inward she almost sighed before she heard, "What is he DOING? I taught him better then that."

Suddenly very still the Amazon Matriarch quietly asked, "Taught?"

"Oh, yes! After all, I want to make sure that with whomever his future wife is, she'll be well taken care of."

"I see."

They both paused again, as the noises above them worked their way up to a peak... and then with barely a pause, continued.

Still frowning Nodoka then muttered, "I wonder if he ran out of lubricant?"

Another wave of dread washed over the tiny old woman as she again asked and repeated, "Lubricant?"

"Of course. Why, if he were to do something like this without, the poor dear wouldn't be able to walk for weeks."

Slowly closing her eyes she again intoned, "I see."

And her folly, her misjudgment of the entire situation, was suddenly made crystal clear.

Soul of Ice.

Many long minutes passed before the act of copulation finally subsided, but Cologne knew it was far from finished. And so the rest of the evening passed, with both Amazon women fighting terrible battles... one for her survival, the other for her pride.

But finally it DID come to an end, and once the Saotomes had departed, she quickly bounded upstairs to see what had become of her great-granddaughter.

It was terrible.

Almost twenty minutes after things had come to a finish and the girl's sticky body was still quivering, face buried in the blankets of her bedding with her rear somehow maintaining its perch in the air. And between the copious amounts of semen seemingly lathered upon her and the multiple still-gaping doorways into her body, no imagination was required to know what had happened.

'Dear gods,' she suddenly thought, faced with the half conscious remains of her own progeny. 'What unwinnable battle have I forced upon you?'

The final day. And once again both Amazons calmly sat. Sipping their tea.



"Yes, Great-grandmother?"

"You are an Amazon warrior, one of the best. I expect you to remember that today, and act accordingly."

"Of course, Great-grandmother."

Closing her tired eyes, now knowing what her great- granddaughter faced, Cologne knew it was all she could do.

They both turned at the sound of the opening cafe door, and a moment later the two occupants became four.

Staring intently at Ranma, Cologne couldn't believe, after two days of rampaging Shampoo's body, the boy still managed to blush when looking at her. If she didn't know better, she would have put it all down as an exceptional acting job, but she already knew the boy couldn't act his way out of a rotting paper bag.

Already taking her customary seat, Nodoka brightly smiled and almost immediately launched into her usual meaningless chatter but then stopped after she noticed that the two older women were not alone yet. Cologne hadn't even bothered looking at her, for her eyes were closed to all except Shampoo's last defiant stand.

The girl simply stood there, unmoving except for a slight tremble that gave her proud look away for the lie it was. Ranma in turn carefully watched her, his face a landscape of hesitation, until his mother's voice suddenly cut into the moment.

"Well, what are you waiting for?"

With a defeated sigh, Ranma then stepped forward and slung that proud Amazon warrior over his shoulder before marching upstairs.

Not even to the girl's bedroom and Cologne's trained ears heard the whimpering that signaled Shampoo's defeat.

But she didn't let that knowledge touch her face.

Soul of Ice.

"-and then the man asked me what size I was! I couldn't believe it! So I... Cologne, is it me, or does it seem a bit chilly in here tonight?"