In AD 20XX,
Insects have managed to overcome all conventional insecticides.
In response to this problem, a Japanese company has created an
ultra-small insect-eliminating robot: Hoihoi-san!

#time check ... 12:00 AM (+9:00 GMT)

#beginning system bootup

serial number HOIHOI-SAN ID-3 001663JKWL23

starting HHOS v3sp1 ... completed

starting HHOS system monitor ... completed

running level 1 system diagnostic
...memory structure ok
...battery system ok
...gyroscope test ok
...muscle-motor test ok sensor test ok
...motion sensor test ok
...infrared sensor test ok
...level 1 system diagnostic completed

running level 2 software diagnostic
...hardware drivers loaded
...JSQL databases loaded
...user profile KASUMI loaded
...level 2 software diagnostic completed

#system bootup completed

starting footware mount ... completed

starting weapon mount ... completed

#beginning patrol routine 01

zone 01 ... clear
zone 02 ... clear
zone 03 ... clear
zone 04 ... audio sensor / motion sensor alert

infrared identification ... blatta orientalis

aim lock_01
aim lock_02
aim lock_03

aim fire_01
aim fire_02
aim fire_03

extermination complete

zone 04 ... clear
zone 05 ... clear

#patrol routine 01 completed

starting cleanup routine K1 ... completed

starting cleanup routine K2 ... completed

starting weapon demount ... completed

starting footware demount ... completed

#beginning system shutdown

starting 01:00 AM system bootup alarm ... completed

#system shutdown completed

#time check ... 12:19 AM (+9:00 GMT)

I smiled to myself as I finished dressing Hoihoi-san in her freshly cleaned outfit. While surprising heavy for her size, the 14 centimeter tall doll look absolutely adorable in the maid outfit that had come with it, and I had taken great pains to make sure it stayed in good condition by hand-washing it instead of using the laundry machines. That done, I then placed the doll onto its charger in preparation for tonight.

Less then a minute later I heard a knock at my bedroom door, and I smiled.

"Come in Nabiki."

Patiently waiting as my sister entered, I then handed over the first of three carefully prepared single sheet documents that laying on my desk. "I'm sorry to ask you for this, Nabiki, but I was wondering if you had the money for these? It would mean a great deal to me."

Again, I waited patiently as the girl read over the list, her eyes widening at the included prices.

"Fourty six thousand yen?!? Kasumi, what is all of this FOR... and why do you have eight hundred rounds of 2mm ammunition listed? Isn't that illegal in-" but then she stopped, and glancing over at me she suddenly asked in a hushed tone, "Sis, are you in trouble?"

Smiling at her I pointed towards the resting doll at the foot of my bed and said, "No, Nabiki, everything is fine. I just wanted to upgrade Hoihoi-san."

Staring at me, then at the doll, and then at me again she finally asked, "What?"

So I handed her the second document, and once more patiently waited as she read it. This time she started to turn a little green.

"That's... a lot of roaches in the house, Kasumi."

"No it isn't," I corrected her. "That's a modest amount in my bedroom, where I keep Hoihoi-san. Of course, since I keep my room clean, they don't bother coming in here as much." Then still smiling that beaming all-is-right-with-the-world smile of mine I casually asked her, "By the way, are you still snacking in your room?" Watching as she progressed from looking mildly ill to imminently throwing up, I then handed her the final document.

"Contractor work? What did the young couple break now?"

Shaking my head I clarified. "No, I wanted to put a nice looking pet door between your room and mine. Twenty centimeters tall, and fifteen wide."

Being the smart one in the family, it didn't take long for her the figure the rest of that out.

"I'll get right on that."

. . .

It also wasn't surprising when I got another knock at my door just after bedtime.

"Go ahead and look smug... heck, even gloating is fine, I don't care, just PLEASE let me sleep in your room tonight."

Doll Hobby

  • All characters from Ichigeki Sacchuu!! Hoihoi-san and Ranma ½ belong to Tanaka Kunihiko and Rumiko Takahashi, respectively. This was written for entertainment purposes only.